February 2012
1 post
January 2012
10 posts
This is what happens when I try to offer helpful...
Coworker: Four consultants that bid on a feasibility study -- that or who?
me: were they people or corporations?
Coworker: corporations are people, my friend
me: ARGH
My coworker, who is getting CNN alerts on his...
Tom: Ooh, looks like the Giants beat the 49ers.
Me: Your phone is time-traveling from the past.
Tom: Now they're telling me that there was some explosion at a place called Chernobyl.
Tom: Apparently, Lincoln has freed the slaves.
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As an admitted perfectionist
There are few things that grate at me more than chipping my nail polish the first day and not being able to fix it immediately.
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“And you know that when the truth is told
you can get what you want
or you can...”
– Today’s widely applicable words of wisdom from Billy Joel.
“People keep telling kids to study what they love — but some loves are worth more...”
– -Anthony P. Carnavale, author of a study on which majors lead to the highest rates of unemployment.
The dubious winner? Architecture. Followed by the arts. Followed by the humanities.
Everything fun leads to ruin!
(via morninggloria)
Unpopular opinion? I agree. I mean, don’t do...
December 2011
8 posts
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Food for thought
When people complain about “Those celebrities who are famous for the sake of being famous,” i.e. the Kardashians — remember that ever since film and photography first came on the scene, many of the people (especially women) who have been conventionally “famous” have gotten there because someone in a position of power decided that there was money to be made off of...
“Tanya: I’ve never seen you buy a salad at Sue’s Salads.
Leslie:...”
– Parks and Rec. These are pretty much my feelings on salad. Lettuce is a garnish, not a meal.
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On interviewing Santa, which I am doing this...
Andrea: Ask Santa what his fave brand of cookies is. I have so many questions for Santa!
Me: Don't we all. "Why can you grant children's material wishes but not world peace?"
Andrea: "Why do you wear such an unflattering coat and color for your body shape and skin tone, respectively?"
From Lyndsey, who is freaking out about her...
Lyndsey: also, email from the uncle i'm staying with: "It is turning very cold. -1 this morning. Bring warm clothes." what if he meant -1 fahrenheit?!?!
me: Um, he didn't. This isn't the North Pole. Unless you're going on a secret mission to Santa you haven't told me about.
Lyndsey: FINE. grr
me: it'll be OK! I promise
Lyndsey: I was going to reply to his email, "ok, i will arrive armed with my heaviest coat," but then I wondered if "armed" jokes are maybe considered sort of scary there, so i substituted "ready" for "armed"
"I am not racist. I will tell you that." - Melvin... →
Another example of how claiming you’re not racist does not make it so.
November 2011
17 posts
“I don’t even have to pretend to try to be nice to people I don’t like.”
– Rep. Barney Frank, a Massachusetts Democrat, sharing one reason he’s looking forward to leaving office after serving in the House for 30 years . (via officialssay)
When do I get to that point in my life?! Looking forward to it.
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Convos with Mom
Me: Poor John Brantley.
Mom: I just keep thinking, what if I were John Brantley's mother, how would I feel? I want to send him flowers or something.
Me: A fruit basket!
Mom: We should do that.
On Urban Meyer
Before I begin this rant, a little about me (under a cut, because this is long and I know a lot of people won’t feel like reading):
I went to UF from 2005 to 2009. I was not a football fan when I entered college — I couldn’t have told you what a first down was — but I graduated a rabid Gators football fan. And I have Urban Meyer to thank for that.
Meyer started at UF...
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WatchThings that are incredible — Florence live on SNL.
“I like to keep some things to myself, I like to keep my issues strong.”
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Lazy Self-Indulgent Book Reviews: On "Pride and... →
lazybookreviews:
I was reminded of one of my favourite seminar discussions, in which we became quite agitated over the question of Mrs. Bennet’s BASIC CORRECTNESS.
We all love Mr. Bennet, naturally, because he’s cutting and delightful and adores Lizzy, but Mrs. Bennet is the only character in the entire novel who…
This is all SO TRUE.
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“There are the obligations we all have to uphold the law.
There are then the...”
– The Patriot-News front page today on the Penn State charges
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Texts from my mom, Gators edition
Me: Hi! I will be sitting in the endzone in row 6 today! Perhaps I will get on tv.
Mom: Gators might have to score for that to happen. But have a good time
Me: Thanks for your optimism.
Mom: My defining trait.
When Singing Girlfriends Give Terrible Advice →
Was reminded of this gem while listening to “Simple Kind of Life.”
In related news, I really miss Hortense on Jezebel.
hayweebaywee:
Mary Jane’s Last Dance - Tom...
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Coworker 1: Would anybody like any thin mints?
Coworker 2: THEY'RE SELLING GIRL SCOUT COOKIES NOW?
Coworker 1: No, they're (Keebler) grasshoppers.
Coworker 2: Way to disappoint me. It's like saying Santa's coming and then, oh wait, it's your uncle.
Coworker 1: Or Père Noël from France.
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October 2011
4 posts
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Dumb cooking PSA everyone is probably already...
Never make anything that requires peeling and thinly slicing a butternut squash when you want to make dinner in less than four hours.
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Thoughts
Someone should do a scientific study of how many times you can play an Adele song on the radio before people get sick of it.
And then people should stick to that number. Because I’m tired of having my love for Adele ruined.
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September 2011
4 posts
1 tag
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Nicolas Cage awoken by naked man with Fudgesicle →
“A Fudgesicle is a frozen, ice cream-like snack.”
OH in the newsroom
Coworker 1: “It’s a federal law that you are not allowed to point a laser at an aircraft.”
Coworker 2: “I just bought one for my cat.”
Coworker 1: “Well, tell your cat not to point it at a helicopter.”
Coworker 2: “No, I want him to get arrested. I want him out of the house.”
Coworker 1: “I can see the headline now. ‘Ormond Beach cat, arrested.””
August 2011
1 post
2 tags
“On Tuesday Ryan Taylor, 30, a theater director in Washington, got the last...”
– Monica wrote an article for the front page of the Washington Post that literally just talks about the good stuff that happened to random people yesterday. (via washingtonpoststyle)
I love everything about this.
July 2011
3 posts
Made for TV (Truth, Lyndsey)
Lyndsey: wouldn't megan fox make the PERFECT casey anthony in the inevitable movie version?!
Collin: yes, but she won't stoop to lifetime
not yet, at least
Lyndsey: true :(
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When moms text
(Background -- I get sick whenever I fly.)
Me: Ugh, I feel awful. Wish I could come home and have soup.
Mom: Sorry! I think you should be like John Madden and refuse to travel by air. Get a custom bus.
Me: Thank you for that extremely realistic suggestion ;)
Mom: Well, I did tell you to wear a mask. That was realistic
Me: I should put this entire exchange on my tumblr
Mom: I'm fine with that. I crave celebrity. (you can put that on there too)
June 2011
3 posts
NPR: Would he ask a married woman the same... →
So, I’m reading this because the headline looks interesting and because NPR linked to the story on Facebook, and then I get to THIS paragraph:
“Kai and I have had conversations we never planned to have, and still we find ourselves looking for the best way to raise this being. Where will we live? Will we vaccinate? What type of school will she attend?”
AGH! “Will we...
